How Long Does It Take to Break a Trauma Bond?

People naturally get close in good relationships because they love and care for each other. It is based on commitment and a sense of safety.
However, in bad relationships where there’s abuse, a different kind of bond can form. It’s called a trauma bond.
This bond isn’t about real love. It happens because of the emotional pain and repeated cycles of hurt in the relationship.
If you or someone in your family is dealing with trauma, seeking professional help is important. That’s where Zion Healthcare Services steps in.
We specialize in addressing trauma with high professionalism, providing effective solutions to help you or your loved ones heal.

What Is a Trauma Bond?

Trauma bonding happens when someone being hurt becomes very attached to the person hurting them.
This can happen in relationships where there is domestic violence or emotional abuse.
For example, a wife or girlfriend who is physically assaulted by her partner over and over might still somehow feel connected to him, even though he is abusive.
Trauma bonds form because, at the beginning of the relationship, the abusive person acts very loving and kind.
To make their partner feel special, they sometimes lovebomb and shower them with affection.
Then, when they start being mean, hurtful, or scary, it brings about unpleasant feelings for their partner.
The good and bad times together create a strong bond based on all the strong emotions, even though the relationship is unhealthy and unsafe.
If you ever feel in your relationship that trauma bond is going to be more toxic, you can contact us to find support to heal.

Love Or Trauma Bond – Facts About It

Love and trauma bonds are distinct yet sometimes confusing concepts in relationships.

Love

• Genuine affection, care, and attachment.
• Healthy relationships are mutually respectful and supportive.

Trauma Bond

• Emotional connection in intense, sometimes abusive relationships.
• Cycle of highs and lows, confusing intense experiences with love.

Keep in mind that abusive partners use tricks to make it hard for their victims to leave.
Two common things they do are isolate the victim and make them dependent.
They try to cut the victim off from family and friends.
This makes the victim rely only on the abuser.
Abusers also make their partners dependent on them for money, so they can’t support themselves alone.
Because the relationship starts with the abuser showing a lot of affection, a strong bond forms with the victim, even when the abuse happens, the bond makes it confusing for the victim.

Trauma Bond vs. True Love: A Comparison Table

 Is Trauma Bonding Healthy?

Trauma bonding is not healthy in any way.

It’s an unhealthy emotional attachment formed in response to abuse and manipulation, not genuine love.

• Unlike healthy bonds built on trust and respect, trauma bonds rely on fear, control, and emotional manipulation. This constant stress negatively impacts your mental and physical health.
• The abuser’s unpredictable behavior and repeated cycles of abuse can erode your self-worth and confidence. You might find yourself constantly walking on eggshells and seeking their approval.
• The isolation and control tactics employed by the abuser often lead to a decline in healthy relationships outside the abusive one. This further reinforces the dependence on the abuser.
• The emotions that got deepened in an abusive relationship may be the cause of the trauma bond addiction.
• In trauma bonding you are unable to leave the situation and encourage you to stick in a place even though someone hurts you.
• Trauma bonding can cause severe effects on human life such as; post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), depression, and anxiety. After quitting the relationship you’ll observe the healthy life afterwards.

7 Stages of Trauma Bond

The seven phases of trauma bonding provide a structure for understanding the complex process by which an abuser establishes and maintains authority over a victim through mental control and abusive cycles.
Therefore, trauma bonding stages do not always occur in the same manner, it can change with time.

1. Love Expectation

The abuser puts the victim with love, flattery, and dreams of a future ahead.
This causes exhilaration and emotional attachment in the victim, rendering them subject to the abuser’s influence.

2. Criticism and Depreciation

The abuser’s behavior drastically changes.
They begin to criticize the victim, pointing out flaws in their look, behavior, and decisions.
This lowers the victim’s self-esteem while rendering them dependent on the acceptance of the abuser.

3. Confidence and Loyalty

The abuser establishes trust by disclosing secrets and vulnerabilities, resulting in a sense of intimacy and reliance.
They restrict the victim from loved ones, cementing their role as the victim’s primary source of care.

4. Giving up and Acceptance

The victim accepts the abusive behaviour because she is emotionally exhausted and powerless. To maintain a sense of normalcy, they may strive to pacify the abuser or minimize the abuse.

5. Manipulation and Laughing

The abuser rejects or rewrites reality, causing the victim to become confused and disoriented.
They manipulate events and discussions to cause the victim to question their perceptions and judgment.
This causes anxiety and undermines the victim’s belief in self.

6. Loss of Personality

Frequent criticism and solitude erode the victim’s identity.
They lose their belief in themselves when they submit to the abuser’s norms and skip their wants and needs.

7. Obsession with Emotions

The extreme emotional roller coaster caused by the abuser’s activities can cause the brain to release stress hormones and pleasurable chemicals, simulating the consequences of addiction.
Thus, repairing trauma bonds requires recognizing the pain and getting help. Furthermore, you may engage in therapy activities to dissolve the psychological ties of a violent relationship.

Symptoms of Trauma Bonds

Trauma bonding is a complex psychological response to abuse, often forming invisible chains that keep victims trapped in unhealthy relationships.
It can be difficult to identify, especially for those deep within the cycle of abuse.

1. Walking on Eggshells

Living in constant fear of your partner’s unpredictable moods and outbursts is a stark indicator of trauma bonding.
Moreover, you might be censoring your words and actions, tiptoeing around their sensitivities to avoid triggering their anger.
Therefore, this constant vigilance and emotional tension are hallmarks of an abusive relationship.

2. Questioning Your Reality

Gaslighting, a common manipulation tactic used by abusers, can leave you doubting your perceptions and memories.
You might constantly second-guess your thoughts and feelings, wondering if you’re “overreacting” or “too sensitive.”
Thus, erosion of self-trust is a significant sign of being caught in a trauma bond.

3. Craving Approval

Feeling like you constantly need your partner’s validation and approval is another symptom of trauma bonding.
Abusers often withhold affection and acceptance as a means of control, leaving their victims seeking crumbs of praise and forgiveness.
This desperate need for approval stems from the abuser’s manipulation and devaluation.

4. Blaming Yourself

Taking responsibility for the abuser’s actions is a common but harmful consequence of trauma bonding.
You might find yourself minimizing their behavior, making excuses for them, or even blaming yourself for triggering their anger.
This self-blame stems from the abuser’s manipulation and gaslighting, making you question your judgment and worth.

5. The Abuse Cycle

A recurrent cycle of abuse, consisting of tension buildup, violent outbursts, and temporary reconciliation, is common in trauma bonds.
You may have a strong attachment and routine, followed by the unpredictability of wrath and aggression.

How to Heal from Trauma Bonding?

Healing from trauma bonding is a long process, but it is possible and worthwhile. Here are some things you can do:

• The most crucial part of healing the trauma bonding is to maintain a distance from the abuser. The very first thing that you can do is to delete the numbers and block them from all the social accounts.
• Trauma bond healing is a process that takes a lot of effort and time to recover. So, keep trying and struggling, once you become successful in it.
• A therapist who specializes in trauma and violence can offer helpful advice and assistance. They can assist you in better understanding the dynamics of your relationship, managing unpleasant emotions, and developing coping mechanisms to help you go ahead.
• Surround yourself with people who understand and accept your feelings. Strengthen the support system by reaching out to friends, relatives, or a therapist. Creating a welcoming setting might help you feel safe and heard.
• Put your physical and emotional well-being first. This includes eating well, getting adequate sleep, exercising frequently, using means of relaxation such as meditation or yoga, and participating in activities that you prefer.
• The abuser may have formed negative opinions about you. Focus on your abilities, successes, and good attributes to counteract harmful beliefs. Self-compassion and forgiveness should take the place of self-blame.
• Reconnect with what drives you, your passions, and your ambitions. Discover new interests and rediscover yourself outside of the violent relationship. Healing requires you to reclaim your awareness of self.
• It takes time to heal. Don’t establish lofty objectives for yourself. There will be ups and downs, but each stride forward represents a success. Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how minor.

Trauma Bond Recovery

Recovery from a traumatic bond can take some patience, time, and help.
Here are some actions that may be useful:

• Recognize the symptoms of trauma bonding and admit the relationship was abusive.
• Contact an expert in mental health, such as a psychotherapist or counselor, for assistance in processing the trauma and feelings.
• Join a support group or reach out to friends and family for help.
• Set healthy limits and reclaim control of your life.
• Journaling, working out, and eating well are all examples of self-care activities.
• Learn to believe in yourself and your senses.
• Create healthy coping mechanisms and practice self-compassion.
• Look for positive, beneficial interactions.

Trauma Bond Support Group

Here are some key points about trauma bond support groups:
The purpose is to help individuals who have experienced trauma bonding recovery in an abusive relationship.

• Led by a professional facilitator, usually a mental health counselor or social worker.
• Provides a safe, confidential space for survivors to share their experiences and feelings.
• Validates survivors and helps them recognize they are not at fault for the abuse.
• Members learn about trauma bonding dynamics and how abusers use control tactics.
• The facilitator educates on healing techniques like cognitive restructuring and setting boundaries.
• Connecting with others who understand provides relief from isolation and encouragement.
• Exchanging coping strategies helps members move past self-blame and regain self-esteem.
• Long-term participation aids in fully detaching from the abuser and gaining independence.
• Referrals to additional counseling or resources are sometimes available as needed.

In a Nutshell

Breaking a trauma bond takes significant time and work.
Seeking therapeutic assistance is crucial to process the trauma experienced and board on healing.
The duration needed to dismantle a trauma bond differs depending on the individual and the intensity of abuse tolerated.
Trauma bonding presents serious implications for long-term mental wellness and welfare.
Therefore, those impacted must recognize trauma bonding red flags and solicit professional guidance.
Doing so is essential to sever unhealthy attachments formed from abuse and launch recovery.
You can rely on Zion Healthcare Services to take a break from the trauma and the concerns related to mental health.

FAQs

How hard is it to break a trauma bond?

It is hard to break the trauma bond due to extreme emotions and the strong connection between the both of them.
Similarly, the abuser reads the mind of the victims and makes their life even more scary as well.

How do we break the trauma bond cycle?

We can break the trauma bond by refusing to talk to and ignoring the person who hurts us.
Moreover, to get better, you may seek professional help and guidance for spending a happy and healthy life.

What are the long-term effects of trauma bonding?

There are some long-term effects of the trauma that are mentioned below:

• You the difficulty trusting someone again in life due to a badly broken heart and some feared event in your life.
• By constantly facing traumatic events, you might go through some disorders such as; anxiety, PTSD, trauma, and even depression.

Why are trauma bonds so strong?

Trauma bonds are strong and tough to break because people in the relationship go through strong and emotional experiences together. I
n these relationships, the person who’s hurt is tricked into believing that these intense feelings mean love, which makes them ignore the hurtful actions.

Can a trauma bond be fixed?

Trauma bond takes time to recover and without any professional help, it is almost difficult to recover.
Mental health experts can suggest a better opinion as they are dealing with such issues in daily life.
So, with the passage of time, you’ll receive constant effort and build self-confidence again.
In the meantime, when you seek some professional help, you can spend your life more happily and easily.
Zion Healthcare Services is also one of them that helps you to lead your life toward a happy nad healthy life.

How long do trauma bonds last?

Typically trauma bond is hard to receiver but with constant effort and struggle, you can recover from the trauma within 6-12 months.
Additionally, trauma bond lasts for years and it takes a lot of effort to rehab and get back to normal life.

How do you recover from a trauma bond?

To recover from the trauma bond, the first and the utmost thing that you might have to do is to seek expert guidance.
Similarly, the instant solution for recovering from the trauma bond is to take the distance from the abuser and avoid talking to them.

Can a trauma bond become healthy?

No, it’s hard for a trauma bond to become a healthy connection.
Trauma bonds are usually tied to negative experiences, often involving mistreatment.
It’s important to deal with the underlying problems, like abuse, to create a healthier relationship.

How do you break a trauma bond after a breakup?

There are some steps that you can employ to break the trauma bond;

• Avoid contacting the abuser, you can block him/her from all the social accounts.
• Make new friends that you feel that you have some positive vibes with them.
• Keep yourself busy by engaging the new tasks and hobbies.
• Last but not least try to be patient and keep calm. Never try to react to any of the abusive talk of the abuser.